Friday, January 10, 2014

The Color of My Life is Yellow

If I were to give my life a color it would be yellow. Not that ugly dark yellow, or that offensive bright yellow, but that soft yellow of sunshine as it comes through the windows and bounces off the walls. I curl up in it and fall asleep.
You don't know me, so you don't know what the past few years have been like. I would say that they've been sad. They have been heavy and they have been hard. But I'm free of them now, God has made me free of them. I have no desire to look back on them. I only want to feel the wind on my face.
I have a son, he's a toddler. I remember people telling me that when he began to walk that I would want to push him right back down again, but I don't feel that way at all. He walks, he toddles, and there is nothing I enjoy more. He gets in trouble for getting himself into something he shouldn't, he falls and cries, and sometimes I get too tired, but I love it. I love his little voice in the morning as he wakes singing to himself. I love his little hands all sticky from a sucker. I love his eyes, wide with curiosity, and I love his pudgy little legs as they waddle their way around the house.
I have a husband. We are polar opposites. If we haven't bickered at some point during the day then we aren't in love. But I oddly can't imagine this life without him. I love his messy blonde hair, I love his tattoos, I love his quiet presence, and I love how his lips pucker out when he sleeps. I love that he plays violin and that he is often elbow deep in car grease.
I live in Washington, where the Earth is black, the trees are high, and the cities are eclectic. I enjoy delicious food and hot beverages everyday. I can go to a park and get lost in the pines, or I can go downtown and get lost watching the boats come into the harbor.
I just bought a house. It's tiny and old, and it creaks everytime we move. We have hung the violins on the walls, bought an extra small washer and dryer, and are going to paint the door red.
Life, this simple life, is all I want. I want to breathe, and live, every bit of it. I want to travel, I want to dream, and I want to dance. Restless nights have taught me the importance of sleep, and sorrow has taught me the importance of life. I want to suck up the rain and the coffee like my life depends on it. I want to run when I feel like it, and I want to walk where I want to go. I want to explore until the whole world seems quiet, and then I want to make some noise.
If my life were a color - it would be yellow.

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